dreams belong to the brave.

The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time. -Brene Brown

Showing up holds simple meaning.  There’s little complexity to it.  No one mistakes a person’s intent when they show up.  That person is there for a reason, on purpose.  Maybe without most of the answers, but that’s not the point.  Showing up defines us.

:: a person who wakes up :: a person who doesn’t quit :: a person unwilling to accept probably not :: a person who sees past difficulty

Bravery is little more than standing when circumstance demands you sit.  There’s little strength to it.  The bravest of people don’t feel brave, maybe foolish.  You know a brave man when you see him.  He’s probably more bent by life’s weight than others who sit.  Bravery names you.

There comes a time when you wake up enough to stars colliding, the sky lightening enough and betting the farm turns value on its head to actually making a lick of sense.  We all come to this moment at least once in life when what we dream of makes just enough sense to jump.  In that burning moment, we either do or we dam it shut, excused from sensibility and safety.

Why should it make sense?

Take a look at all things too big.  That’s just what those things were before they awed onlookers, too big – a novel, painting, building, poem, sculpture, song - some dreamer pulled down the sky and made what was seen.  After everyone knows them brave and consistent.

I’d be more willing to say that showing up and bravery are of so much more importance than the result of what you can see.  For what you can see, is the historical telling of someone unwilling to let a dream die.

Now you must ask yourself why dreams are so important that we should not let them die.

Dreams – what we wish to do in life and hope to find true – sprout from the core of who we are and can become.  I believe God gives dreams and we awake to them as we live the life given us.  We all have dreams, hopes and aspirations.  They belong to those made brave by showing up.

For me, the dream was to communicate life and faith and their often times strained interaction through story; to write books and author ideas.  The book I just finished, my first, is an exact product of the simplicity of showing up day after day.

I hope to continue the discipline and brave abandon of just showing up.  I’d invite you to join me being brave in going after our dreams.  Wake to something good forgotten, dismissed in simplicity and just begin to show up.

skies bending.

I remember the light fading then the road blurring irreverently skies bending like light fractured in the sharp lines of a prism, prison to me the day abandoned one fallen asleep to everyone gone on the bus, in houses, happy, ready for the day next outside, streets wet with tears left by those wandering

I recall clearly salvation in lines, pen strokes drawing tomorrow coloring clouds the hue of grace found

in times catching we see what we know in His appearing dark laid at ease turmoil rested and worry abated the day not yet come had a place for me, a seat saved for me

worry and wonder in Oklahoma, life broken & beyond || A DEEPER STORY post

 

Night stretches thin,

black,

like a stare seeing clearer than yesterday but maybe more lost than then when night felt contained by good warm day.

Not so.  Maybe not for a while.

Definitely not during those nights now and ahead lingering lonely, not able to be chased away by the brightest of memories and the strongest of smiles.  No, they will hurt and break and not belong.

The world will move on without them and they will float carried by tears that feel like waves and questions that feel like fire.

And always, why slivers in.

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Those are brothers, fathers, mothers, sisters and friends in Oklahoma, just as they were in Boston, here in Texas and in every breaking moment around the world.  Tragedy comes close, so close that it sometimes breaks through disrespectful of words like promise and safety and goodness.

. . . continuing this post at A DEEPER FAMILY

(image credit: Flicker, Big Grey Mare)

Featured Artist :: Art House Dallas

I don't think of myself as an artist.

I should say, I don't always think of myself as an artist, but I am accepting of myself as an artist more and more these days.

I think it's because I haven't always thought of myself as a real writer.  Maybe a hobbyist at best, a pretender at worst.  Even half way through writing my first book, I'd tell others at art events, those who'd ask what I did, that I was in sales.  My response was a downplay, a deflect of attention.  After all, who wants to fail or come up short despite all effort given?  So I'd work tirelessly, part privately, on the manuscript of my first book while not admitting to being a writer - an artist.

Realizing (and admitting to) the value in my art and dream of being a writer began to surface after introduced to Art House Dallas.  Suddenly, I felt connected to plenty of other artsy folk who learned to not merely hear the echo of dreams within, but learned to esteem creative dreams within and wield creativity realized for a greater purpose.

A forged statement repeated often in the community of Art House captures its heart and meaning: "Cultivating creative community for the common good — encouraging everyone to live imaginative and meaningful lives."

I'm both thankful to be part of that community and honored to be this month's Featured Artist.  Read the Featured Artist interview below where I discuss my creative process, habits and upcoming book, "Earth & Sky."

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What is “Earth & Sky: a beautiful collision of grace and grief,” all about?  What inspired you to write it?

In a word: life.  The book is a memoir recounting the sudden, unexpected death of my wife nearly 3 years ago.  Far more than a somber story remembering a life passed in the wake of inexplicable tragedy, Earth & Sky journeys into the heart of grief, grace guiding into a new day.  The correlation of earth and sky lies in the connection between and interaction of human frailty (us - earth) with faith (God - sky).  Sinking in deep loss, God pursued me into the darkened depths of my heart wasting away in grief.

This story is not mine alone.  It belongs to my three little daughters as well.  One life that we knew together suddenly ended with no warning and left us dislodged from any sense of familiar belonging.  I was widowed and they were motherless and half-orphaned.  Both the story and journey belong to all four of us as we learned to live life anew and rediscover happiness, joy, meaning and reason. The inspiration to write Earth & Sky sprung up in desire to chronicle our path together through grief.

Writing about loss is obviously challenging.  C.S. Lewis', “A Grief Observed,” is a sometimes excruciating classic in the genre.  Were you influenced by any such works? Did you even plan to write a book at the start?

Lewis’ words echoed a strong sense of familiarity in the writing of my book.  Regarding pain, Lewis poignantly wrote, “It removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul.”  His words had a way of speaking life into my soul in the words giving witness to the dark treading through his own rebel heart.

I wrote as a means of bleeding out restless emotions swirling about my heart and head.  Initially, I captured raw emotions in poetry which gave me generous boundary lines to explore and confess darker fears, thoughts and prayers without worry of much sensible literary structure.  Many of these poems are built into the prose of the book.  The poetic spillings served as a cathartic exercise so I continued to write as I began to shape the content into story arch.

The most helpful influence in not only writing the book, but in healing and moving forward revealed itself in Kubler-Ross‘ book, “On Grief and Grieving.”  I found purpose in crafting my story after spending time in this particular book where she and David Kessler expand on her model of the 5 stages of grief.

// CONTINUE READING AT ART HOUSE DALLAS

O Book, where art thou?

When I set out to write a book, I didn’t fully know what to expect or even how to exactly think through a book from initial thought to published product.  Maybe if I did know I’d still be standing there at the beginning dismissing the journey of writing, rewriting, editing and so much more editing, as one of those insurmountable heights in life climbed and conquered by few.  Namely, not me.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step,” may certainly be quite accurate of a statement, but it is with each subsequent step slipping, falling and rising again, where the journey becomes more than just a walk from somewhere.

Each meandering morning earlier than the sun when a block of 500 words written held more value than sleep, gold or the foolishness of being a published author with book in hand stacked on top of the other.  Before too long, blocks of words did more than float on my computer screen and journal.  They stacked higher and higher still one on the next and the many following the first.  Most days spent writing seemed like I was crafting words and spinning them into a forever stretching horizon ending nowhere but still feeling warm.

Such are dreams too big and unbelonging in our little context of no and can’t and well, maybe.  That is, until we believe, and more importantly, assume beginning with a readiness to just keeping stepping into thin days where dreams quickly vanish into ridiculous.

The completion of my first book should rightly be diminished to just that: a collection of footprints maybe leading somewhere, but at least stepped onto, pressed into and smeared upon the mountain pushing down heavy into each ordinary day.

And so, not only does a completed manuscript exist, but now the wheels are a-turnin’ and the manuscript is being crafted into a real, actual book!

Here are a few updates on my book’s progress despite my lingering unbelief at times:

Final round of editing almost complete!  Editing has been the most uncomfortable element to the process, but by far and wide, the most helpful and guiding.  My editor is simply an amazing mix of strong encouragement and sharp edge slicing through unnecessary.

Book design and artwork!  Hand meets digital expression, illustration meets design.  I have an incredible duo creating the artwork for my book combining hand drawn illustration and artfully brilliant computer design.  I literally sent a few pictorial examples of what I want and excerpts of my manuscript and the design began to lift off the ground.  I can’t wait to show you guys what they come up with!

Book endorsements!  6 published authors have agreed to read my manuscript and endorse my book.  Ridiculous ...enough said.

Video shoot!  Somehow I am crossing paths with the right people at the right time (wink).  This month as editing is wrapping, design is coming together and book endorsements are being crafted, all in preparation for printing to begin, I am prepping for a video shoot with an incredibly talented filmmaker.  This video will act as a sort of trailer for the book.  Location in Dallas has been confirmed and the script is done.

KICKSTARTER!  All of this - the writing, painstaking edits, exciting art design, endorsements and video shoot - converge at one moment, the scramble to summit the mountain, if you will.  I need pay for it all.  Rather than going the route of a traditional publisher, I chose to go with a publishing imprint that will allow me to retain rights to the book that I wrote.  This means that I will own my own book instead of a publishing house owning the rights to my book.  To go this route meant me having to pay for the team to bring the book from concept and dream locked in my head to life.

I will write more about my Kickstarter campaign in the next week or so.  Please be on the look out and consider helping me in bringing this book into reality by pre-ordering copies of my book and additional items such as commissioned print copies of the book cover artwork and an exclusive ebook of poetry and thoughts not included in my book.

I cannot express the excitement building in each passing day and the depth of gratitude to you, the community who has surrounded me in support and encouragement.  In large part to each of you who subscribe to my blog, this book is soon to transcend dream!!